Adrift...into the Realms Unknown

It's been awhile since I updated anything on this blog. Silence of the world beyond conquers every nook and cranny of this timid diary of mine. This too shall pass and soon to come to an end. My presence is ultimately a void of essence, the one that exists only in silhouette. No mortal can harness its own shadow.

Perhaps some of the best things I've learned this semester include editing articles on Wikipedia and creating my own personal website. The latter which has prompted me to reinvigorate my html vault long dead. Yes. After I switched from using Friendster to Facebook, the memories of html I stored in my head slowly get erased. This is because Facebook has no apparent utilisation for skeletal frames. Basically a plain text input, one can only write, post and edit their statuses as well as notes in a simple format. Wikipedia on the other hand requires basic skills and know-how for users to edit or create a page on said website. Interesting experience after all.

Grail's Mysteries

A week passed by since my last blog entry. Everyone now is busy what with assignments and all. Looking past this wall standing erect before our eyes, the only option is to destroy it with anything at our disposal. Lame metaphor, yeah I know.

Teamwork has never got any better than what we are currently running at the moment. Like a clockwork, students are working hard gathering information and preparing what needs to be done. Communication in Advertising is one of the two group works where I have become part of the congregation. Despite its overall taxing nature, working with diligent and courageous people makes up for half of the fun. We need to produce a brochure for Public Relations Office that, if successfully accepted, will go into mass production line as part of promoting UBD to international students and researchers alike. We learned something valuable from our presentation today, which did not work. We need to keep our minds open and try again with new ideas. The latter in which I am in shortage of. Perhaps we are getting used to being shot at by unmerciful yet constructive remarks. The weaknesses in our pitch have been addressed thoroughly by Mr. Chris Woo. Lacking in concept is the primary element that is completely absent from our proposal. To add to this blasphemous misfortune, our client has yet to give us the relevant content materials for producing the brochure. This bureaucratic disparity really slows things down around here. Well, I'm guessing she is still busy with things on her hands.

That's all for now though. Nothing major.

Entry No. 2 in D Minor, Opus #1

In this second entry, I attempt to reflect my understanding by trying to connect the dots of relevance where applicable. Flirting with the idea that men and women differ from each other not just on physical basis, but also the linguistic capacity of the two, makes it clear that we are indeed separated by idiosyncratic functions especially dedicated to perform various tasks in life. Generally assuming that women possessed a superior array of vocabularies is nevertheless inches away from the truth. Before this we already come under ballistic assault from many an academician, men or women matters not, that females are inclined to use richer spectrum of words to describe colours and emotions. The embodiment of this analogy can be found in any particular poem whose words flow steadily like a cold, mesmerising stream deep in a forest of stars.

As with the case in our country, this largely depends on how well educated a person is and what kind of family background does he or she come from. Yet, these two elements are too delicate, able to shift its once immobile ceiling with everything but persistent efforts to learn at educational institutions. Although some might argue that even the most underprivileged that happened to not attend any hours long academic brain work can outperform those degree holders with their lifelong experience. The emphasis is somewhat frustrating, that one has to have exceptional linguistic skills as a prerequisite to become a formidable social animal. Allow this word to be used here, for grim are the truths that hide behind the fading light, we are animal to some extent. We have been nurtured to believe that women and men should act in a certain way, thanks to the ceaseless efforts exercised by mass media and cutthroat corporate giants around the world. Women are expected to be all soft in their manners, which in fact has been perpetuated by subconsciously submersing misogynistic anchors at the back of our minds. We are then used to such ideal images, or worst, the invocation of bestial lust within men that the opposite sex should bow down before their every need and want. However, reality is somewhat non conformist; women are of course louder than us double Y and this is somewhat frowned upon by most conservative masses who have consumed the habitual diet of imposing servitude and desecration towards female. Decades of aggression seem to suggest that men triumphed over women by working at some of the challenging, most dangerous places on Earth. The glass ceilings have always stand before women and the firmament above, where men can gaze a hole through them without having to face severe feedbacks from the society. Why does this happen? In a world ridden with insatiable avarice, people in power (whether you disagree; most are men) have apotheosised such an issue before the altars of politics. We then worshipped these gods and goddesses created from our image whose idealisation expends our cognitive resources to the point of exhaustion that, we refused to disassemble the foundations without having to change our mindset.

Now we come to realise that language itself reflects not our behaviour to a greater extent vice versa. In minute concentration, this notion can somehow prove the theoretical assumption in which women seem to be the pivotal perspective when it comes to discuss language and gender. Like previously mentioned, it all comes down to expectation from the society in which we lived in. Malay women, more so of Muslim faith, are bound to behave modestly, to be chaste before marriage and to devote themselves only to their husband and children. It goes without saying that our women are, without sounding overly chauvinistic (not that I have such an intention whatsoever), the walking invitation to carnal sins. This is the fact that has many non Muslim scholars brewing with agitation, pointing out to women’s apparent subordination in Islam in which they believed to have contradicted with the idea that Islam upholds the status of women unlike any other beliefs that come before and after the deluge of poly – cosmic theism that inundates the landscape of contemporary human faith. What does this have to do with language and gender? Again, the relevance is that we need to hover above the confusion to actually see the common element that connects the dots to many stellar theories; that women are created different from men but the two need to communicate properly in order to survive.

Wild Things

When administration staffs miscalculate our units,
We still get the blame,
We take more courses,
To compensate for their mistakes,
Their rudeness forever prevails,
Take no actions as none shall be done

When we ask for more funds from clubs,
The answer you get is disappointment,
Money is short on the tray,
But their month ends with holiday,
See through the lies they fed you,
It's just something they always do

When the forests are cleared and the hills are flattened,
New buildings spring up from yesterday's ruins,
We shout the loudest to save the Earth,
We do the most to deface its landscape,
What exists within our reach,
You take away what we do need

When neo communism rules over us,
They taught to us MIB,
Brought up to not question the authority,
Our creativity is murdered,
Those who followed blindly,
They stand tall before the Almighty's creed

When you armed a farmer with ten nukes,
Do you think he knows how to fire them?
From operating theater to Vice Chancellor,
How far can your eyes see?
Hand him the scalpel and he will cut,
Give him money and we will rot

When men of God speak in tongues,
When the fallen angels speak with hearts,
When diligence is ruined by the lazy one,
When the fresh blood boils,
When hatred explodes over martyred soils,
We will soon have our wounds bleeding

Illuminans Tenebrea

A week gone by, now it's time to write.

Never stare at people. If men, you are not allowed to gaze a hole through women. You'll have your eyeballs gouged out by the angels of Jahannam.

It's nice to know that our women here at UBD are dressing decently and properly. After all they have to fulfill the politically correct dress code to appease no one but the Creator. Oh nice thought there fella, I am here to tell you that some ladies at our campus are still clothed like porn stars. Or should I say, insufficient?

And they pointed out to the guys who glanced at them as being sexually perverted whose brains are everywhere but in their teabags. Point the gun to your head and pull the trigger, have someone to blame written all over your suicide note. You have the rights to kill yourself, are you not? If you can't get what I'm trying to say, don't ever scroll down. Leave this blog at once.

Well, this is perhaps one of the most controversial topics for both sexes especially over this horizon. Sexuality is pretty much a taboo topic and one should never discuss it openly. Things changed now. With many people now leaving their former faith, morality goes down the drain as well. It is not a problem in many a Western country when women wear something outrageous (or wear nothing at all!). In Brunei alone we can see all sorts of fashions that are either expressive or modest (I wouldn't want to refer the latter as conservative). In such a diverse academic environment where people of different background and personality intermingled with each other, we can observe this phenomenon. Some of the expressive ladies have put the emphasis on the fact that they can wear whatever they like and men have no right to stare at them, even turn their heads to steal a glance or two. They are of course correct in that sense. In a world where God and His rules are more or less decapitated, the burden of making choice has been awarded to both men and women.

Real Kodak moment: A Malay lady in her office. Keep showing them titties and you'll be raped in 4 minutes

99.1% of men will agree that they like to stare at sexy women; a fact that is almost impossible to divorce from us. Psychologically we are conditioned to fancy the assets of our opposite sex. We are born, you included ladies and gentlemen, because our parents had sex! Deal with it. We are neither Isa ibni Maryam who was born out of the void into this world, nor are we Adam the forefather of all mankind. We live and procreate, we nurture and raise our offspring regardless whether or not you are the type of person who puts no emphasis on family life, and we work hard for our lives. Sadly, the world is sick to begin with and there are of course sick people walking about like a roaring lion, seeking whom they may devour. Perhaps the relevance is clear when we put this in context; some girls are well endowed and their Bs and Cs refused to go stealth. Let's face it, guys will always have their eyes trained on your boobies because of their significant size. The lesser the attraction, the least attention you ladies will get. Women like these may have to work with naturally perverted males as part of their semester long assessment called group work. Now, this may cause the female to feel alarmingly uncomfortable when the perv is around her, knowing that he will always try to set his eyes on her body, which is ridiculously truthful in this respect. Neutrality is absolutely non existent. There is no gray area. You either work with him or you don't. There seems to be no solution to this problem. Even the most brilliant and polite of all the guys will always have to regulate the urge, the curious urge to see beyond what is visible. Not all girls in UBD dressed like what you see here, and we guys are not all born to rape you. To execute the balance one must cooperate with the other, and that is where our now 'deceased' faith comes into play. In a lot of people's hearts God is already dead, He only lives on their lips every now and then. Question me, and you have to question yourself. I draw this issue as a symbol of frustration over how some girls are wearing eyes jacking and penis boning dress while ironically detesting the semi automatic glance that men have upon them. What? Hence the cooperation. That is, if you are willing to cooperate and cooperation, folks, are my middle name (Ha!). It wouldn't surprise me if some of you ladies start to become blind in my presence after reading this post. Do what thou wilt. The multitude of consequences you face is [sic] just the beginning. We are never good at everything but a few. Try to remember that. You despise my existence, you are as good as dead because everywhere you go, things are always meant to be the same. Your fate follows you to the grave. Go on and gather around with your friends talking shit about me while I write this unrepentant blog about reality, while you can only know me so much.

Has your education ever taught you anything?

Booze up and ready to die!

They said Coca - Cola contains alcohol. Received the news ambivalently; just didn't know what to feel. I have never liked to drink one myself. However, this is yet to be confirmed by health officials. The same goes with Monster energy drink. Pretty tight world for Muslims eh?

Such an asphyxiating society for a man like me who likes to grow long hair, especially in UBD. Beginning from my family, everything about it has been blown out of proportion. A bad guy, small time criminal, alcoholic; all these go in one sentence with long haired men in Brunei. How sad. This is nevertheless arbitrary and totally irrelevant in real life. I grow mine long as a metaphor for liberation and rebellion. Yes. I am rebellious. If we happened to switch souls with yours living inside my body, then you will know exactly how I feel. See through me eyes. Be me for just a minute. I hate to say this but in my opinion, having short hair signifies complete submission to others, allowing yourself to be overpowered by their will and greed. As for now, I have enough. Well, I am just going to enjoy it while I still can, before I become an unwilling participant in slave and master relationship with the bureaucratic government in years to come. Apocalyptic revelation.

Desecration and Sodomy!

Shallow end.